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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

*yawn* What a time!

Things haven't been the best for us, Caelan had this horrid stomach thing for just over two weeks, samples have been sent off for testing so I hope like heck they find something. He's still not feeling 100% but is sooooo much better. We think it was a virus to start with that then got bad because his stomach is damaged anyway from the reflux and/or celiac. Soooo after we have the results from those tests I think it's about time he get the blood test for celiac disease as well so we know for sure if he's got it as well. We know the reflux is still a problem but I feel like this may be as well, it would make sense anyway with me having it and celiac suffers will have reflux problems as well. So better test and then we know.

Sleeping has been CRAP due to vomiting all the time at night and being so sick for so long and now it's still really bad. We think it may be a habit now after the sickness, but it's hard to tell because he's really snotty now and has a croaky voice so he could actually be feeling bad with a cold. Either way - it SUCKS! We all had pretty much no sleep last night because he cried the whole time, he would cry for an hour or so, then sleep for half an hour to an hour before waking and crying again for ages. It would take SOOOOOO long to settle him and then it would seem like we'd just get to sleep after it and he was crying again. We gave up and bought him into bed with us at around 4am because it was too hard, he finally stopped crying and went to sleep just after 5am sometime. So at least we got two hours sleep then. Argh - I feel dreadful, Caelan is super tired and grumpy and I just spoke with Chris and he's struggling at work. This IS NOT what we need right before the baby is born, and the worst thing is it'll still be happening once the baby is born. He's so hard to "fix" once he's broke like this. Then I'd say he'll have at least a night with Chris' parents when I'm having the baby, unless it all happens nice and quickly during the day and he can come home that night with Chris and in an ideal world, me and the baby :) Otherwise it's longer crap nights, for some reason when ever he stays there he comes back bung in the sleep department. Not that we think it's anything to do with him being there, it's just that's the only place he stays away from home. We think it just must be the being away from home that does it to him. He doesn't make having a break easy! Evil boy!!! LOL

This baby... well when I saw the midwife last Friday she was concerned about the size, thinking it's going to be too dangerous to birth it naturally at full term at the rate it's growing. The risk of rupturing my scar is too high she thinks, considering my uterus is "un-tried" (i.e. no contractions or labour before) and all that pressure is too risky. So she said we need to get this baby out as soon as possible, she gave me some natural get-it-started remedy which I took the first lot of on Friday and will take the next lot soon. It started a whole lot of movement but that's about it really. It's all getting pretty stressful because we have soooooo much to do, for the last two weekends we've been out doing fencing and stuff which has caused some pretty intense pain, but then once I'm resting at night it eases. Not really things I should be doing at this stage but it's just so hard because it's things we need to do and things we can't do with Caelan around so we have to make the most of the time that Chris' parents want him - so that means going crazy as soon as he's away.

We had heaps to do last weekend which was causing major stress and freak-outs from me after the midwife appointment and knowing that this baby really needs to come now to get the natural birth or even just a labour that I so desperately want. Thankfully wonderful Maria and Sean offered to help out and have Caelan over to play with George on Saturday afternoon and we got two fences done really quickly (we did them at warp speed!) and some clearing out in the back paddock so the horses didn't hurt themselves which was good. Freakin' sore for me and giving Chris a heart attack to see me dragging heavy posts etc around the paddock, but if it has to be done, it has to be done right? There's still a billion things to do, it sucks trying to do things with a toddler around - you just can't do it. But this morning as I talked about all the things we still have left to do Chris' Mum offered to have Caelan on Friday so that will be great. It just sucks not having family around for things like this - it would be so much easier if I had family around to take him while we get things done. Last week was a HORRIBLE week, with Caelan and us having been sick for so long, very little sleep for too long, way to much stress about everything we have to do and not being able to do it, no money, the baby coming real soon, natural birth slipping further away etc. - it was a horrible, majorly stressful time that totally exploded for the last half of the week. But being able have that space on Saturday (thanks Maria and Sean - you are wonderful!!!!!) to go crazy and get things done really helped out. Chris and I were finally talking again and not screaming at each other after that - yay! They made us dinner (an amazing dinner) for when we picked him up so we didn't have to think about feeding ourselves - yay for them!!!! Then Chris' parents wanted Caelan for the afternoon on Sunday which was great, so we got more done, finished the paddock and did some more clearing out, moved the horses in and then were able to start on the baby's room (if you can call it that!). I felt like I could breath a little easier, things had been way too much for us for a while and were really getting ontop of me in my emotional, hormonal state, but after being able to make a start on the things we need to get done before the baby is born it's feeling a little better. Still majorly scary and stressful when I think about things too much, like what we still have to do and buy, the ever mounting bills, the state of our hideously overdrawn account... and the list goes on so I just wont think about it!!! But at least we we able to get a lot done last weekend and that feels better and we are able to look forward to getting more done on Friday. YAY!

Anyway... ramble! Must have needed to get that out! hehehe I see the midwife again on Thursday and we'll discuss the plan further, in the meantime I'll be doing all I can to get things started before then! There is the option of induction but she said the risk of rupture goes up even more then due to the nature and force of the contractions they give. Chris is not keen on doing anything that is going to be more risky. So we'll see what Thursday brings. We had the magic dinner last night that is supposed to bring on labour and so far nothing! hehe Though like any of these things they will work if you're ready, but if you're not, you're just not and neither is the baby. But it wont hurt to try right?!?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

So much vomit!

It all started last Tuesday, the day after his birthday. Caelan had a relatively normal day, had still been complaining of a sore tummy every now and then but things seemed like they'd been fine and moved on from the feverish tummy bug. He had dinner and got ready for bed as usual, went to sleep easily and woke after just over an hour of sleeping crying strangely. Usually if he wakes crying we'll leave him for 10 or so minutes to see if he'll settle himself, but this cry wasn't normal - he sounded really sad. Chris went in and I heard him say "Oh Buddy...", for some reason I knew he'd vomited. I went in and his room reeked, he'd spewed everywhere through his bed and all over himself in his sleep. Poor boy, he was so sad and feeling so horrible. We cleaned him up and then I sat with him in our bed while Chris cleaned up and changed his bed. Poor little kid sat cuddling me crying and feeling horrible, with the vomit coming every 15 minutes. It was horrible and I just wanted it to stop - he felt so dreadful. After a while he stopped crying in between vomiting but would cry again as he obviously felt more sick just before, he would cry and say "I'm sick" and then he'd be heaving again. This 15 minute vomiting continued on till 4am, he got to the stage where he was asleep propped in our bed between us and when the crying in his sleep would start, we'd lean him forward to vomit and then he'd cry and whimper some more before falling back onto the pillows asleep again. So sad to watch. But after 4am it ended so we put him back to bed, leaving the door open to hear him.

We took him to the Doctor the next day with him spewing all over himself and the car on the way there, were told it's a virus and should be gone within 24 to 48 hours. We got some more paracetamol and some pedialyte to replace the fluids (but he hates it and wont drink it!). The vomit continued, and continued and continued - never as frequent as it started but it was every day never the less (sometimes more, sometimes only a few times) and every night in his sleep. We thought he'd had his last episode on Saturday night in his sleep because he had a much better Sunday than he'd had since it started. He wasn't crying and saying he had a sore tummy and finally ate - he had a small breakfast, small lunch and small dinner - WAHOOO!!!! He pretty much hasn't been eating since having it, only eats a tiny amount of something once a day, we'd been really careful with what he'd been eating, no milk the whole time etc, nothing too rich, nothing that would upset an already upset tum etc. and has lost soooooo much weight. Makes us so sad. His nappies that he'd nearly outgrown now fit him easily again, his clothes are lose and he feels really small and light. Sucks - he was weighed when he went in to the Doctor after the first night of vomit and he was 17kg, I'd say he's nowhere near that now. Poor little kid. At least he wasn't skinny to begin with, otherwise he'd really be suffering now.

Anyway, it isn't over as we'd hoped. Chris' Mum wanted him for the day yesterday and on Sunday night I said that he'd been better but I'd like to see what he night was like and that I'd let her know in the morning. Anyway after his good night on Sunday night I felt ok about him going for the day yesterday. But I was silly and didn't say not to give milk - when we spoke to him in the evening we learned how silly I was to not mention it! He'd had a big glass of milk after not eating much dinner, so I explained the type of cry he does if he spews in his sleep because I was certain it would happen after the milk, we asked if she could call us if it happened cause we wanted to go there to be with him, sure enough he spewed in his sleep again last night, poor little boy. We got the call at around 1am after he was back in bed and asleep though, so we lay there worrying about him, then I got annoyed with Chris' snoring as I lay there unable to sleep for pretty much the rest of the night. My poor, poor little boy. I spoke to him this morning and it made me cry when he said he loves me. I just wish he wasn't sick. It's not fair to be this sick for so long fuck it.

Monday, April 07, 2008

2 years old today!

Where has two years gone???? It's crazy to think that we have a two year old little boy - but the proof is "right here", as he says "I'm right here Mama" patting his chest when I call him. He really is the most amazing little thing, he astounds me every day with what he knows and his amazing nature and delightful personality. I'm so proud to say I'm his mother and it makes my heart smile when he says "I love you Mama". He truly is a lovely, lovely little boy.

We had a quiet day at home yesterday after the crazy birthday party, we did some painting - that ended up with the three of us being painted. Caelan thought it was great fun to paint Mama and Daddy, while we painted him!

He started today with a special birthday hot chocolate drink with his weetbix this morning and had a lovely morning with Lily who came to play with him for his birthday till just after lunch. What a nice day for him!

Oh here's a pic of some of the kids playing on the trampoline at his birthday party and then some of painting yesterday and birthday breakfast today, then playing with Lily.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Birthday party madness

Caelan's birthday party was yesterday and we had 15 toddlers here. It was chaos! But they all had a great time, Caelan had so much fun having all his friends here. We'd bought 100 balloons and had most of them on the trampoline - which was the star attraction. We also had the sandpit, plane swing, other swing, all of Caelan's bikes plus the bigger toys we hired - a sit on digger, two kid spinning ride, rocking 3 kid alligator and slide. There certainly wasn't a lack of fun things to do. In our stressful rush leading up to it (lordy, lordy it sure was stressful!) we didn't get a lot of things done - we'd planned to have Caelan's double tent with adjoining tunnel set up outside but didn't, there was food we didn't do as well (though there certainly wasn't a shortage of food!!! The kids just weren't really interested in eating, it was all about playing) and one of the activities (decorating cookie pig faces to take home) didn't happen - perhaps we'll make them and put them into the already named bags and post them as a thank you. Chris and I are both still sick with a virus so felt horrible the whole day and my back and pelvis pain was just killing me. I swear if there wasn't people around, sometimes I would have been screaming or crying in pain! Due to us not feeling the best taking photos or video footage just didn't happen. Which is a real bummer, but never mind - we got a few but it would have been great to get some of all the kids playing and going crazy. We got a few of cake time and pressies though, so at least that's something.

The cake was a huge success though I've gotta say! We were sooooo happy with the end result - we thought the cat cake from last year would surely make any other cake we made a disappointment in our eyes. But no! We were so happy with this years too and he loved it. We were up till 2am doing the cake and blowing up balloons and other stuff we could do while Caelan slept. Then it was swimming first thing in the morning, luckily we were able to drop him off to Chris' parents after swimming so we had a couple of hours to do more of the preparations. He was dropped home after lunch and we had heaps to do while he slept... But he had a different story! He was not sleeping! He screamed for a while and then played for a bit in his room before deciding to scream again - we gave up and got him up at about 2pm. I was ready to cry/kill/run away/vomit/die at this stage and a 2 years olds birthday party with a million people was the LAST thing I wanted - but it wasn't about me.

He loved it so much that this morning he went running to the door shouting excitedly "Birthday party! Birthday party", he looked out over the deserted party-lands with all the toys and balloons and got sad. He looked up at me nearly crying and sobbed "People for my birthday party???..." and I told him that his birthday party was yesterday and it's finished now. He didn't like this and his voice cracked with the threat of a huge break-down "All the people come birthday party". Poor, funny little boy. Whenever the dogs have barked today he runs to the french doors exclaiming "Everybody's here! Everybody's here now!" looking at the gate. So he had a wonderful time and loved his birthday party.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Nappy is for sleep time only

He's doing so well with the toilet training, the only time he wears a nappy is for sleeping. He's bare-bummed the whole day and just takes himself to the toilet whenever he needs to go and shouts excited for me to look. It's so great! We then go through a ritual of emptying the potty into the toilet and he flushes, then he choses a treat from the treat jar. This sits on top of the microwave so he can see it all the time and be reminded that when he goes to the toilet in the toilet or potty he gets a treat. We haven't had one accident at all. It's awesome! So the next step is to move to undies only, then undies and pants over the top. We'll keep doing what we've been doing for another week and then move on I reckon.

He had such a horrible night last night, woke at 2am screaming oddly and was burning up. Horrendous fever, like fire to touch and he was shaking and twitching. So scary. We took his jarmies off and put wet flannels all over him to cool him down. Finally got pamol into him when he calmed enough and he got a bit better, his temperature was just over 40 by then and he wasn't shaking or twitching as much. We'd gotten dressed and were gonna take him to hospital, but then he got happier and seemed a bit better, even though he was still really hot, at about 4am he asked to go back to bed. So I put him in bed with just a nappy on and lay in bed listening to his fitful, whimpering and moaning sleep with lots of sleep talking, he slept for about an hour before waking crying again. He came back into bed to sit with us and get more flannels and cold water, really not happy and still hot, he then asked to go back to bed at about 7am or just after. When he woke at 8:30am he was crying, shaking and twitching again but not as hot - took him to the Dr and temp had gone down to just over 39. Dr couldn't find anything else wrong with him - apart from the fever. He hasn't had runny poos, was totally fine and happy all yesterday, doesn't have a cold, ears fine, throat fine. Anyway we got more drugs to get the fever down and the Dr said to get him a iceblock straight away to try to get the fever down more. He's not interested in eating anything and is horribly pale, like a ghost and mottled looking. But he ate half the iceblock and the paracetamol and ibuprofen have made him feel much better. Really not himself though - he looks horrible, real pale and eyes look awful. Makes me so sad. So we had a hideous night here and are all VERY tired. Hopefully that's the end of it and he has a better sleep tonight.