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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

*yawn* What a time!

Things haven't been the best for us, Caelan had this horrid stomach thing for just over two weeks, samples have been sent off for testing so I hope like heck they find something. He's still not feeling 100% but is sooooo much better. We think it was a virus to start with that then got bad because his stomach is damaged anyway from the reflux and/or celiac. Soooo after we have the results from those tests I think it's about time he get the blood test for celiac disease as well so we know for sure if he's got it as well. We know the reflux is still a problem but I feel like this may be as well, it would make sense anyway with me having it and celiac suffers will have reflux problems as well. So better test and then we know.

Sleeping has been CRAP due to vomiting all the time at night and being so sick for so long and now it's still really bad. We think it may be a habit now after the sickness, but it's hard to tell because he's really snotty now and has a croaky voice so he could actually be feeling bad with a cold. Either way - it SUCKS! We all had pretty much no sleep last night because he cried the whole time, he would cry for an hour or so, then sleep for half an hour to an hour before waking and crying again for ages. It would take SOOOOOO long to settle him and then it would seem like we'd just get to sleep after it and he was crying again. We gave up and bought him into bed with us at around 4am because it was too hard, he finally stopped crying and went to sleep just after 5am sometime. So at least we got two hours sleep then. Argh - I feel dreadful, Caelan is super tired and grumpy and I just spoke with Chris and he's struggling at work. This IS NOT what we need right before the baby is born, and the worst thing is it'll still be happening once the baby is born. He's so hard to "fix" once he's broke like this. Then I'd say he'll have at least a night with Chris' parents when I'm having the baby, unless it all happens nice and quickly during the day and he can come home that night with Chris and in an ideal world, me and the baby :) Otherwise it's longer crap nights, for some reason when ever he stays there he comes back bung in the sleep department. Not that we think it's anything to do with him being there, it's just that's the only place he stays away from home. We think it just must be the being away from home that does it to him. He doesn't make having a break easy! Evil boy!!! LOL

This baby... well when I saw the midwife last Friday she was concerned about the size, thinking it's going to be too dangerous to birth it naturally at full term at the rate it's growing. The risk of rupturing my scar is too high she thinks, considering my uterus is "un-tried" (i.e. no contractions or labour before) and all that pressure is too risky. So she said we need to get this baby out as soon as possible, she gave me some natural get-it-started remedy which I took the first lot of on Friday and will take the next lot soon. It started a whole lot of movement but that's about it really. It's all getting pretty stressful because we have soooooo much to do, for the last two weekends we've been out doing fencing and stuff which has caused some pretty intense pain, but then once I'm resting at night it eases. Not really things I should be doing at this stage but it's just so hard because it's things we need to do and things we can't do with Caelan around so we have to make the most of the time that Chris' parents want him - so that means going crazy as soon as he's away.

We had heaps to do last weekend which was causing major stress and freak-outs from me after the midwife appointment and knowing that this baby really needs to come now to get the natural birth or even just a labour that I so desperately want. Thankfully wonderful Maria and Sean offered to help out and have Caelan over to play with George on Saturday afternoon and we got two fences done really quickly (we did them at warp speed!) and some clearing out in the back paddock so the horses didn't hurt themselves which was good. Freakin' sore for me and giving Chris a heart attack to see me dragging heavy posts etc around the paddock, but if it has to be done, it has to be done right? There's still a billion things to do, it sucks trying to do things with a toddler around - you just can't do it. But this morning as I talked about all the things we still have left to do Chris' Mum offered to have Caelan on Friday so that will be great. It just sucks not having family around for things like this - it would be so much easier if I had family around to take him while we get things done. Last week was a HORRIBLE week, with Caelan and us having been sick for so long, very little sleep for too long, way to much stress about everything we have to do and not being able to do it, no money, the baby coming real soon, natural birth slipping further away etc. - it was a horrible, majorly stressful time that totally exploded for the last half of the week. But being able have that space on Saturday (thanks Maria and Sean - you are wonderful!!!!!) to go crazy and get things done really helped out. Chris and I were finally talking again and not screaming at each other after that - yay! They made us dinner (an amazing dinner) for when we picked him up so we didn't have to think about feeding ourselves - yay for them!!!! Then Chris' parents wanted Caelan for the afternoon on Sunday which was great, so we got more done, finished the paddock and did some more clearing out, moved the horses in and then were able to start on the baby's room (if you can call it that!). I felt like I could breath a little easier, things had been way too much for us for a while and were really getting ontop of me in my emotional, hormonal state, but after being able to make a start on the things we need to get done before the baby is born it's feeling a little better. Still majorly scary and stressful when I think about things too much, like what we still have to do and buy, the ever mounting bills, the state of our hideously overdrawn account... and the list goes on so I just wont think about it!!! But at least we we able to get a lot done last weekend and that feels better and we are able to look forward to getting more done on Friday. YAY!

Anyway... ramble! Must have needed to get that out! hehehe I see the midwife again on Thursday and we'll discuss the plan further, in the meantime I'll be doing all I can to get things started before then! There is the option of induction but she said the risk of rupture goes up even more then due to the nature and force of the contractions they give. Chris is not keen on doing anything that is going to be more risky. So we'll see what Thursday brings. We had the magic dinner last night that is supposed to bring on labour and so far nothing! hehe Though like any of these things they will work if you're ready, but if you're not, you're just not and neither is the baby. But it wont hurt to try right?!?

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