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Friday, July 28, 2006

Thursday, July 27, 2006

He's soooo yummy

Caelan's found his shouting voice and LOVES using it really loudly. It's so cute - he shouts and giggles, shouts some more and giggles, shouts more and giggles. Soooo cute - I'm sure it'll get tiresome at some stage but for now it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen! :)

Well it happened...

One of my worst nightmares came true last night – Chris fell down the stairs with Caelan. I was in our room grabbing a sweatshirt, Chris had just gotten Caelan a jersey from his room and was heading downstairs. I heard the dreaded thudding sound and my heart jumped into my throat. No! I was out the door before I knew it and looking down the stairwell to Chris on the floor at the bend halfway down the stairs with Caelan in his arms. God the terror. Chris looked shocked and scared but Caelan was fine. All I could say was “Fuck Chris” - that was all that came out. I wasn’t blaming him I was just so scared. I nearly died, it was instant fear, the kind of fear that makes your eyes water and your heart beat so hard and fast that your chest hurts and the lump in your throat is trying to choke you. Caelan was completely fine, perhaps just a little stunned wondering what just happened, but fine. A went back into our room and tried to put a sweatshirt on with hands so shaky an alcoholic with DTs would have bin proud. It took a long time to get that horrible image out of my head – the one I saw in my head when I heard the sound, not what was actually there. It’s been something I’ve been terrified of since coming home with Caelan. Heaps of people have fallen down these stairs – everybody that’s lived here as done it more than once, it’s the corner I think, perhaps the stairs aren’t quite big enough on the corner... I don’t know but I hate it. I did it when Caelan was about two months old, not with him though, I’d just put him to bed and gone downstairs and ended up falling. I fell from the middle bend all the way down to the bottom and I fell forward – it scares the shit outta me! If I was holding Caelan he would have been really hurt if not completely crushed by me. God it really scares me. After that happening last night Chris said “We HAVE to get a one level house” - I agree it’s just too scary. Though that isn’t as easy as it sounds – we’ve been looking for another house for a LONG LONG time now.

Caelan had a bad day yesterday, first one in a while. He only had one short nap early in the day and was awake from 2pm till 9:30pm when he finally settled and went to sleep. AND he didn’t sleep through the night – woke at 3am. Poos! Hopefully today will be better. Fingers crossed.

Monday, July 24, 2006

15 weeks and 3 days old

Everything is going really well! Caelan's such a happy wee boy now, the cold's basically gone and he's not suffering with the reflux. Thanks to either the medication or Dr Phillips' treatment - we've been too scared to start reducing the losec. Just don't wanna risk him turning in The Screamer again. Not now that it's going so well. But that's the plan. Soon.

We saw his Paediatrician again on Friday and she was thrilled with his progress and how much happier and alert he was. She asked us to keep a journal of his 'spasm' things because she's looked into it further and can't think of what it might be, other than severe pain caused by the reflux and bought on by movement. He was weighed and measured there too which was exciting - he was 7.74kg and 65.8cm. What a biggun!! She was astounded at his weight gain - little budda is still putting on just over 300 grams a week. I thought he'd slowed down but no!!

He's started reaching for and holding his toys now which is so cool, and when he's on his tummy he pushes himself up onto his knees - crawling soon???

Thursday, July 20, 2006

All in the Clark household rejoiced!

Caelan slept through the night again last night! No more of this horrid waking at 5:30am!!! He went to bed at 8:30pm and slept till 7:30am – wahoooooo! Hopefully this means we’re back to doing this every night. Well his cold is pretty much completely gone, sooooo fingers crossed.

What dribble?

Aren't I special? My bib has my name on it - thanks to my lovely Aunty Kylie in London.

Playing under my new musical gym that Grandma and Granddad got me. I love it!

Eating my pears this morning - yummo!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Happier little boy

Well Caelan's cold has nearly gone - thank god, after 2 weeks of having it! He's still pretty snotty but the horrid cough has gone and he's not sounding all gurgly any more. Horray! Little so'n'so gave it to me as well - ggrrrrrr. So we've been a snotty, coughy pair for two weeks.

We saw Dr Phillips again today, he did his stuff and is pretty confident that the vomitting will slow down and stop within the next week. It's so interesting listening to him explain his form of treatment. I don't understand it at all but it's interesting! Well it makes sense when he's saying it but buggered if I can remember shortly afterwards! haha

Things have been so much better all round (apart from the cold of course), Caelan's been so much more settled and happier. No screaming for hours on end - yahoo! And is sleeping so much easier now. Though the damned cold wrecked the sleeping through the night - he's waking at 5-5:30ish now instead of 7:30. Poos! Let's hope he goes back to that real soon.

Silly Mummy put her ear muffs on me! They're pink - I'm not a girl Mummy!

Told you not to hold me up like that Daddy!

Fun on my bedroom floor.

Woops! Don't need that.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Ah the sweet smell of vomit

There was a time when I would always smell like Chanel No 5, Dolce Vita or something equally delish. These days it's au de baby vomit. Nice.

Caelan's cold seems to be getting better - horray! He's still blocked up but he's not coughing as much. Hopefully he gets better real soon.

A friend told me about www.tshirthell.com. Here's a couple of the funny baby t-shirts:

Monday, July 10, 2006

If it aint one thing it's another

Poor little snot machine has a cold! It's just not fair, just when he's starting to feel a bit better with the reflux he gets a cold. He's completely full of snot, blocked up and has a horrendous cough. He's sleeping really badly because of it too, constantly wakes with a coughing fit or not being able to breathe and cries.

We had such a good day on Friday and were even able to go to friends for dinner and he had his 8pm feed there and went TO SLEEP there as well. It was soooo good! We were real people - had dinner AND I even had a glass of wine after dinner as he wasn't feeding till the morning. We woke him at 11pm to to bring him home and he went to sleep after a bit of a cry. He slept till 7:30am when he usually would have woken! So good!! Then it turned to crap as the cough started on Saturday and he got worse gradually over the day till it was a full blown cold by night. Which meant his sleeping through has stopped again. It's so sad. He's so miserable and sick. It sucks!

Playing with Daddy on Saturday morning.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Ah he aint so bad

He's no longer trying to kill me, or make me kill him! Things have improved again - thank goodness! Something has worked... not sure if the the upped dosage of losec or if Dr Phillips fixed him, like he was convinced he had or if he was just going through a bad patch and is now having a better one... Who knows? I sure don't but I'm glad for this nicer time.

It was really interesting, REALLY interesting. Blew my mind actually! This neurophysiological stuff is amazing, well if it works it's amazing! If it doesn't he's really clever and making A LOT of money from us suckers. I hope it works and from what he explained and what I've read on it, it's something I agree with. It makes sense to me. Let's hope it makes sense to Caelan. The doctor did his thing and said that something was out in the base of Caelan's spine, I think! Or at least in that area! Wish I had a dictaphone because I was just amazed by it all and don't really remember much. He also said that Caelan had a fungal infection in his stomach and that's what's causing the reflux. He said that he'd fixed that and the infection would clear up in 48 hours and we would notice a difference within a week. Hallelujah! He said when we go back in two weeks he's expecting to see major improvements. And to call him if we don't notice an improvement within a week. And I've gotta say there's been a definate improvement in the last two days. He's so much more relaxed and happy, feeding better, sleeping better, no huge bouts of screaming for hours (praise the lord!). He's also back to sleeping through the night - for the last two nights he's slept from 9:30pm to 7:30am again. So who knows what is working - it could be the higher dosage of losec, it could be Mr Freaky Doctor Man, it could be just that the bad patch was only gonna last that long... I have no idea. But I'm sooooooo THANKFUL!

He's exactly three months old today and 13 weeks old and my how he's grown! He's already 7.2kg - well he was last week, sure is growing well!

I love looking at my book.

Just about to go for one of our evening walks - Mummy and Daddy wrap me up nice and warm.

Little Budda!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


Caelan's been gradually getting worse and the last two days have been absolute hell. It was like pre-losec days but for some reason seemed a lot worse... not sure why, perhaps because he'd been better for a while or perhaps because it's been 3 months of screaming and now I just can't handle it. I don't know but it sure aint fun! This morning was hideous and incredibly hard, I actually felt like I couldn't cope anymore and was really angry. It's not a nice feeling at all. Thank goodness Chris is amazing, I called him and we talked to the sweet sounds of Caelan's screaming. Well actually Chris talked and I cried! It took a long time to get ready amongst the screaming that had been going all morning, but we were finally able to head to Starship.

The Paediatrician was great AND, thank goodness, Caelan was screaming his head off most of the time. Not that I like it when he's doing this, but at least she got to see it. I'm sick of feeling like people think we're over-reacting and that he's not bad at all. I want to tell them to come and live with him and see how "lovely and happy" he is. She was awesome and although her sheets said he was on the dosage he should be on, she called the hospital gastro-something-or-other specialist and said that she's got a severe case of reflux and wanted to know what he could be put up to based on his weight. We can triple what he's currently on - horray! She could hear him refluxing constantly the whole time there and in obvious pain with it. She heard his rattling as well and said it's all related and it should calm down once it's managed better with the higher dosage. She saw the video and thinks that it looks like really severe pain overtaking him and thinks that it's probably related to the reflux as well. She said to keep an eye on it, manage it as we have been and if it's still happening when the reflux is managed better they'll look into it more. She then asked how I'm coping and if I've got the support that's vital with a reflux baby, of course this bought on the tears! I told her that I'd been ok but it's now getting hard after three months of it. She was so lovely and I feel much better about things now that I know it'll hopefully be better again with the higher dosage. We're seeing her again in two weeks. It feels good to finally feel like we're being taken seriously and that things are going to get better. God I hope so anyway because I really don't think I can take much more of this!

Monday, July 03, 2006

12 weeks and 2 days old

And he's already going bald! hehe Poor wee thing has started losing his hair, just when we thought we were gonna escape it. Damn!

Well our Plunket nurse is due to arrive so we'd better get ready. Wonder how heavy he is now?! Exciting! Busy week - Starship Paediatrician tomorrow then the other Specialist on Wednesday, his shots on Thursday (oh no!!) and recovery on Friday. Awesome!

Tummy time this morning.

Play time this morning.

Wearing Daddy's beanie.

So happy!

With my cousin Zarleen and her husband Steve.