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Friday, May 19, 2006

Caelan's birth

6 April 2006
Holy cow we’re having our baby tomorrow! That was a weird feeling to know that just the next day we would have our baby. I was thinking a lot more about whether it was a boy or girl too – it was all so exciting and odd. We went crazy getting everything finished in the baby’s room. We finished painting all the photo frames and trinket box and Chris painted a really cute dragon for the wall – he’s so clever! I painted two bright canvasses – one with love, aroha on it and a koru heart and the other with family, whanau with a koru tree. They didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped but they’re on the wall and at least I did it myself for our baby and even if they’re ugly – the thought was there right!? hehe We finished the room and holy moly it was sooooo gorgeous! We thought we were awesome for doing it and oh so happy with the result. Unfortunately it wasn’t finished then, I wanted the house to be immaculate and even though it was already late at night I tossed up which I would prefer and being tired tomorrow suited me more than coming home with a new baby and the house annoying me because things needed to be done. So we stayed up until about 3.30-4am-ish cleaning absolutely everything. Silly huh?

7 April 2006
When the alarm went off at 5:30am I really didn’t feel the best let me tell ya! I rolled over and croaked “We’re gonna be parents today” to Chris. We had to be at the hospital at 7am so we’d planned to get there at 6:30am to allow time for parking the car. I showered, shaved my legs and bikini line (freakin hard!!) – had to be presentable! We left on time with an absolutely HUGE bag – I can’t go anywhere without about 4 sets of clothes too many! I had no idea what I’d need or how much of anything so I took way too much rather than too little. I think I was starting to get a little nervous – well I didn’t feel nervous as I’m a pretty calm person but I started to get irritable and stressed and I reckon that was my nerves. Chris’ driving was driving me insane and I was getting really wound up feeling inside as he seemed to be driving really slow and I really didn’t want to be late. But we were fine, got there just before 7am – just as well we’d planned to get there at 6:30am otherwise we would have been late! hehehe We’re hopeless! At level 5 reception we got told to go to Tamaki Ward on level 10, so off we went. Got there and had to wait a while before being taken to my room. Of course I got two comments on the size of my bag and how long I intended on staying. Of course. My room was surprisingly nice – it was huge and overlooked the domain. Once there Chris went to park the car and I wrote in the book to our bubba. I really wanted Chris to come back quickly as it was starting to feel odd. Some horrid annoying midwife came in, irritated the snot out of me and told me to get undressed and into the hospital gown. Great my arse would be hanging out soon! I got changed and Chris arrived pretty soon after that. Annoying midwife came back to jabber constantly – combined with my severe tiredness she was exhausting! She prattled about inane crap and was so negative about everybody and everything. I had to take the nail polish off that I’d put on especially for the day – what a pain! hehe

Chris and I in my room waiting to become parents.

At 9:30am annoying midwife and a nurse came to collect me. It was awesome to be lying down – I was so damned tired! I was wheeled down some corridors, into a lift and to another room next to recovery to be seen by the anaesthetist and prepare to go into theatre. Thank goodness this is where annoying midwife left us – good bye! I got asked a whole lot of questions about whether I was allergic to this or that and the procedure got explained to us as well as the thingy (can’t remember what it’s called right now) was put in my hand. My midwife turned up unexpectedly as she’d been in over night with two births and had seen the specialist with him asking if she was going to be there for my caesarean. It was nice to see her (surprisingly!) - I think because she was a familiar face amongst all of the strangers. We had a short wait there before being wheeled through to theatre. What a surreal feeling – I was gonna be a mum very soon. Chris was a little nervous but said he was more excited than anything. Who were all of these people at my party?! Holy moly there were a lot of people in there! It was really nice having my midwife there, she was great and really kind and encouraging (not a side we’d seen of her). Chris was great – I’d been worried that he’d get concerned and it would show heaps on his face which would then make me feel bad for him and lose my control. But he was great – really encouraging and wonderful and so excited. A lovely nurse explained how I had to sit and told me that I’d get wiped down with cold stuff and the epidural would be put in. She was great, I really liked her and her way of going through stuff with me. Chris and I had a funny time being dicks together while waiting for them to do this.

About to get the epidural.

The anaesthetist started his thing and shit was the cleansing stuff cold alright! They told Chris to come forward and give me his hand while they put the epidural in – that wasn’t so nice but wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. We jabbered there for while longer as the folk at my party bustled about doing there stuff. Even though we were told there’d be a lot of people this was more than I expected. A whole lot of them came to help me lie down as by then I couldn’t move at all. I was told I wouldn’t give a damn about people seeing my arse etc – boy was that I lie. It was horrible! They then inserted the catheter – very horrible, embarrassing experience! I was then washed down, our specialist turned up and it was all on. What a horrible feeling it was. There wasn’t any pain but it sure was uncomfortable and yuck feeling. Chris was watching at one stage and I had to ask if he could talk to me instead of watch as I needed distracting from the horrid feelings. He was great, I thought once it began he would be more uncomfortable than he was, but nope – he was just super excited. It took a whole lot longer than both Chris and I expected – I don’t know how long it took though but it seemed quite some time before they said that we’d see some feet soon. Chris just about leapt up to see, I couldn’t look at all, I was just thinking ‘Ew god, yuck I’m not looking at a hole in my guts’. “And here come some legs” and I still couldn’t look, I was just looking at Chris’ amazed looking face. “Here’s you baby” and that was it, I had to look! There was my baby. Being held up by the legs, facing away from us, a big beautiful baby. I was overwhelmed then and crying. Somebody was saying that we’d see what sex it was soon and I told Chris to tell me, I didn’t want anyone else to tell me. Chris then told me it’s a boy, I felt really shocked and really emotional “A little boy, we’ve got a little boy” I kept saying while crying. I was so overwhelmed by completely new feelings. They took our screaming little boy away for his tests and continued on with me. I couldn’t stop the tears. Chris went to the table where our little boy was screaming his head off – hearing this sound and thinking ‘That’s my little boy’ was amazing. I lay there with tears running down my face feeling bewildered by everything. Chris was taking photos and then came back to me. It was such a lovely moment between us to have finally seen our baby – our baby that we made. He kept going between me and where he was. It seemed a long time before Chris was given him, he sat next to me holding our son. When I looked at him I saw my nose – he looked like my son! It was all amazing. The next thing I noticed was the long fingers – they looked so long to me. I don’t know how long it took to sew me up but after that we were taken to recovery and I was finally able to hold my boy. It was all so amazing – to look into this little face that looked like me and be overwhelmed by love and joy. He was awesome. He is awesome.

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